 |
| xxxvii |
-----
Good morning Marci,
my name is Simonia Harrison and I just saw you on The Doctors show. I have a
different perspective on a loss due to a fire. I loss mt daughter in an
apartment fire on January 19th of this year. Out of this loss came an awesome
testimony. I don't know if you are a woman of God, but God is real. I wrote a
book called The Light of Sunshine depicting a 25 year testimony. I would love
for you to read it. I believe there is a purpose for my pain and I believe that
this pain is tied to my purpose. I want to do something to help mothers who
have lost a child or children. Can you tell me how to get involved? I don't
have any money to donate, in fact I haven't been able to work after losing my
daughter. I just don't know how to get started. Thank you for any information
you can provide.
- - - - - -
Hi Simonia,
I did order your
book but haven’t received it yet. I look forward to reading it as soon as I
can, though. I am so sorry for your loss of Rakeisha, it is a tragedy I cannot
emotionally or psychologically imagine, though it is something I fear at times.
You are such an amazingly accomplished woman, and the strength you’ve found in
your pain and purpose fills my heart with hope for you. Healing is different
for everyone, and I feel even though your pain must be severe, you show such beauty
and grace by finding it within yourself to share your story with and want to
help others.
People like you and
I appear to have a calling to help others and to make the world a better place.
There are many ways to “donate” or volunteer. I wanted to be able to post this
answer, though, to say this: please make sure in your quest to help others, you
don’t forget to take care of you. Regardless of where you are in the healing
process, you really weaken yourself when caring for others if you aren’t being
very proactive in your self-care. When I first interviewed for some of the
things I have done, I was required to submit self-care plans, because most
organizations know that it can be stressful and draining and don’t want to lose
you to “burnout” – not that your choice for helping others would necessarily
put you in that sort of position, of course. It might behoove you to start with
your own self-care plan as you being to look for opportunities, because healing
isn’t linear and you may not know yet what might trigger you as you proceed.
I know if I had
read your book by now, I may already know the answers to some of the things I
am asking; I apologize. However, do you feel ready to take on helping others
directly at this time or would you prefer to start with something small as you
go through this holiday time of year and the anniversary of your loss of
Rakeisha? Maybe you want to take time to celebrate her life by yourself or with
others before you start this new journey. Knowing you would like to help eventually
doesn’t mean you must push yourself to help too soon. So I was thinking what
about finding small ways to help other organizations while you build your
strength? They may not always be organization related to the loss of a child,
but there are always opportunities to either make things at home or have small
fundraisers to support larger initiatives.
Even if you don’t want to leave the comforting glow of your
computer, you can still help a variety of charities. Search using SearchKindly and money will
be donated on your behalf to create libraries for under-served schools. Play
educational games on Free Rice and every question you answer correctly will
result in ten grains of rice being donated to the United Nations World Food
Programme. Shop with Good Shop and a percentage of your sale will be given
to a charity of your choosing. Lastly, you can read public domain books out
loud while recording your voice and donate the recordings to LibriVox, where they will
be made available to the public as free audio books.
If you prefer to act a little closer to home,
there are always people that will need your help no matter where you live. You
can knit clothing or blankets for your local homeless shelter (or give them to
the people on the streets directly). You can donate blood to your local Red
Cross. Lastly, you can always donate your time to a local charity in your area.
http://mentalfloss.com/article/29549/12-ways-you-can-support-charities-without-donating-money
These are some
simple examples from an article I saw, but there are many more small ways to
make a difference. When you feel you are ready to take on larger things, I’ve
been searching the internet, and there are many organizations trying to help
people like you cope with their grief. One I liked a great deal was “The
Compassionate Friends: and another is “The COPE Foundation.” Grief Haven is
another, though there are many others. Each of these three has ways to get
involved in a small way while you see what you think of the organization and
how it relates to your personal beliefs and talents. Many of the organizations
out there even offer training to be a volunteer. Others are looking for people
who want to tell their story or to talk to other families. Have you considered
being a speaker or running a local group to help grieving parents in your area?
Your bio says you are a member of Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church, and I was
wondering if they might be interested in partnering with you to start a support
group or to have you as a speaker from time to time? I also wondered if you
would feel comfortable maybe talking to anyone at your local Fired Department?
I wondered if maybe they had any programs for child safety and would want you
to help with things like that.
With the national
organizations I mentioned and others, you can find many resources to support
your efforts. Again, all of this is a lot to take on so early, but I saw the
fund for your brother and though this is where you might want to head
eventually. One thing I do recommend is finding out as much as you can about
any organizations you find interesting. Inasmuch as we may feel healed and
hopeful at times, I can truly say to help others in an organizational setting
requires the right organization and environment match for you. The way they are
formed and the rules applicable to many of their grants can limit things they
are able to do, which can be difficult for anyone. Also, the way people
interact and support volunteers varies. I know I keep repeating this, but this
is where self-care is so important, because even when we as individuals want to
help others and do not feel stressed or drained by it, we need the support of
our friends, family, and coworkers. We need to feel appreciated by those
support systems, because we need to maintain realistic expectations of those we
seek to help – those who are often lashing out, falling apart, triggering our
own memories and feelings, and much more. I am lucky to volunteer in a setting
that really cares about the advocates and looks for ways to support us and help
us with self-care. Not every organization will do this, and I would not want to
see you lose any of the progress you are making because you did not get the
support you deserve.
I hope these
answers help a little bit. I know they may not be all that you wanted, but a
few of my points made me feel very strongly about writing you. You are an
amazing, wonderful woman who has been through very much and accomplished so
much. Your desire to reach out to help others even while you are going through
so much inspires and awes me. I think any organization would be lucky to have
your help, and I wish you the very best.
Please take care of
you all ways and always, Marci
- - - -
Good
morning Marci, thank you for your response, and thank you for purchasing my
book. You are right on with everything that you said. I have spoken to my
pastor about a ministry to support grieving mothers. He thought it was a great idea and said that
we would get together after the holidays to discuss. Additionally, I am doing a fundraiser on MLK Holiday to
donate the funds to the fire station/the first responders. They have become family and my other daughter
and I donated the $500 that we received from the Red Cross to them earlier this
year. It's a small firehouse and they do not get much funding, so I wanted to
do something in remembrance of Rakeisha and give them money at the same time.
We're selling dinners at the fire house to all the other local fire stations
and the apartment complex where she lived.
We will be giving out free smoke detectors with labels on them with
Rakeisha ' s pic and date of birth/death. I have also contacted Compassionate
Friends about volunteering and I am waiting for the information in the
mail. I will look into the others. I
appreciate what you said about how I may feel during the holidays. I am feeling anxious about Christmas (you're
learn why when you read my book) and about the anniversary date. This has been
great advice, even the part about "burnout". I definitely do not want
to do that. I'm pretty sure that I am not going to pursue anything until after
the holidays and anniversary date. I hope that you and I can keep in touch. I
will let you know of my progress and any support groups that I become attached
to. Thank you so much Marci for your concern, support and great advice on your
blog. You are awesome!
No comments:
Post a Comment